September 28th marked the second anniversary of your passing. It still hurts the same as it did the first night you passed, but I think I'm coping a bit better. I can actually say your name without tears in my eyes. It's hard. You always knew exactly what to say to make me feel better.
That night, Jason had a dream. That in itself is very unusual- he doesn't sleep very well. He was in a sleep deep enough to have a dream- and the other odd thing is that he actually remembered it. I find it odd that one cannot remember a dream. I remember all of mine. In this dream, without going into too much detail, Jason had to make a decision to save my life, and took it, although this meant the end of his own. When he awoke, he wasn't afraid. It didn't even startle him to wakefulness like most nightmares do. In fact, he was very, very calm about it. He didn't tell me this until Wednesday or Thursday, and wrote it in an email and made a poem of it- a very well-written one at that.
He had pondered what it all meant, and decided that it wasn't just a run-of-the-mill dream- it was something much more than that. He stated that it was fate, and told me that I was the main purpose in his life. He lived to make sure I was healthy, happy, and alive.
Considering when he had the dream, I don't think it was a normal nightmare, either. I think it was you, looking out for me, as you always do. You were telling him, "Protect her with your life. Or else." I know it was you. Too many "coincidences" have occurred with you to think it was random chance. I know you've been looking out for me.
I came to see you the other day. It was the first time that I've ever visited you without crying. Instead, I was overcome with a kind of peace, a serenity that I had not experienced in quite some time. It was a beautiful day, and I cannot explain the calm I felt.
Thank you for looking out for me. I love you. I'll carry you with me.
That night, Jason had a dream. That in itself is very unusual- he doesn't sleep very well. He was in a sleep deep enough to have a dream- and the other odd thing is that he actually remembered it. I find it odd that one cannot remember a dream. I remember all of mine. In this dream, without going into too much detail, Jason had to make a decision to save my life, and took it, although this meant the end of his own. When he awoke, he wasn't afraid. It didn't even startle him to wakefulness like most nightmares do. In fact, he was very, very calm about it. He didn't tell me this until Wednesday or Thursday, and wrote it in an email and made a poem of it- a very well-written one at that.
He had pondered what it all meant, and decided that it wasn't just a run-of-the-mill dream- it was something much more than that. He stated that it was fate, and told me that I was the main purpose in his life. He lived to make sure I was healthy, happy, and alive.
Considering when he had the dream, I don't think it was a normal nightmare, either. I think it was you, looking out for me, as you always do. You were telling him, "Protect her with your life. Or else." I know it was you. Too many "coincidences" have occurred with you to think it was random chance. I know you've been looking out for me.
I came to see you the other day. It was the first time that I've ever visited you without crying. Instead, I was overcome with a kind of peace, a serenity that I had not experienced in quite some time. It was a beautiful day, and I cannot explain the calm I felt.
Thank you for looking out for me. I love you. I'll carry you with me.
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