I got one of my dream cars!!!

For Valentine's day, Jason got us a Subaru Impreza WRX Limited! It's the required World Rally Blue, leather seats, butt warmers...you name it. The previous owner had a shitty sound system in it, but really...you don't drive a Subie for the sound system.

We sold the Spec-V SER for it. I was a bit sad to see it go, but it's a fucking WRX, man! Jason went down to Louisiana just to look at it, and ended up buying it. So now we're "the house with all those blue cars".

I can reach the pedals in this one, but there's a catch. You see, in the WRX, the seat can go up and forward. You know how they say that standards have a "sweet spot" in the clutch, and you can just press it until you reach it? Yeah.......the WRX doesn't have one. You have to push that fucker all the way to the floor, and that's where the problem comes in. I can't reach the clutch!!! I have to smoosh myself all the way into the steering wheel and rotate my hips in order to toe at the clutch pedal.

Driving it is interesting. It has the turning radius of my Escort, which is phenomenal. My Escort is tiny, but the fucker can turn around in a parking space. The WRX pretty much can do the same- there is only a 5 foot difference in the turning radius between them. The first thing I discovered while turning this car was how heavy it felt- I was surprised by it. You can feel the weight in this car. It's not a bad thing, really- Subarus are built to be strong.

Now the big question is: are you going to get rid of the Escort?
NO.
Did you really think I would get rid of my beloved beat up Rainbow Warrior? HA! Not on your life!

Yes, I realize I drive it by choice, but I made a good one.

I Hate the Holidays

Throughout the year, I always have had money to spend on the little things. You know- video games, fancy dates, travel, posh makeup, etc. However, it seems that there is that special time between October and December where our finances are in limbo. Does anyone else have this problem, or am I missing something here?

I don't really do anything different. It just seems that there is less money at the end of my year. Bills get stretched out, and my bank account looks like a single mom during the Great Depression. Scratch that...a single mom during the Great Depression would have more money than me at this time.

I've taken to paying off my student loans, and I've put a dent into them, at least. Although there is a minimum payment, I have added a lot to it. I've been pinching my pennies because I like vacations and such every year, and more importantly-perhaps the most important point of all- I like my bills paid. I like to take my paycheck, pay all of my bills, and then let the next paycheck sit bored in my bank account.

But yes, this time of year really sucks- not only am I broke around this season, it's the worst possible season to be broke on- the holidays. Now, if you know me (and since you're reading this blog, I'm sure you know me a bit by now), there's one thing that I absolutely LOATHE more than anything in this world, and it's the fucking holidays. I hate the holidays- except you, Halloween. I could never hate you.

Now, on to the examples on why I hate the holidays. Now, keep in mind, I DO enjoy some things about the holidays, but let's be serious. Everyone knows this rings true. If it doesn't ring true to you, you're living in a place where unicorns exist.

Thanksgiving: It's a time of the year where you spend extra money on a small country's amount of food, and you glutton yourself to the point of bursting with it. You sit around a table with people you don't really like and would rather stab in the face than to break bread with and make idle chatter.

I'm not for all that fake shit, so I make my own Thanksgiving with people who actually want me in their lives.

Then, it's Black Friday, which has somehow leaked into The Hour After Thanksgiving Dinner. That's when the worst in people comes out. It's like The Purge, but somehow less people get killed.


Xmas: This one is a doozy. This is the one I hate more than the seven rings of Hell.

All this "put the 'Christ' in Christmas"! OH BULLSHIT. It's a Pagan holiday, you fuckwits, but you wouldn't know that because you never got a proper education. It's funny how the most religious states in the USA are also the most academically challenged. Coincidence? I think not.

Christmas gives shitty people who've been shitty all fucking year long to redeem themselves- they can be charitable once a year, and get a tax write-off for it. Then, in January, they can go back to being a shitty fucking person until Christmas again.

And the crowds. Holy fuck at the crowds. I went grocery shopping the other day. GROCERY SHOPPING. People were almost running me over to get crap they don't need, and all I wanted to do was buy some fucking food. They don't act this way the rest of the year.

You get gifts. I love getting gifts, you like getting gifts, everyone loves getting gifts. As I get older, I realize I just want cash, a paid bill or two, free food, and maybe some vehicle maintenance. Hell, I hated getting socks when I was a kid, but now...I fucking love socks! Especially if they're cute! My feet are a kid's size, so I always get cute socks!

What do I want for Xmas?
Someone to pay toward my student loans.
Someone to do some maintenance to my car.
Someone to pay my rent (seriously, please pay my rent)
A French press
Money.
Victoria's Secret gift card.
Sephora gift card.
Food.
Buckle gift card.
A 64gb microSD card.

Yes, big,expensive, needy things, but let's be honest here. I don't need another TV. I don't need a Louis Vuitton purse (I already have one), and I don't need some fancy stuff that I'll only use maybe once or twice. I have no room. I don't need it. I have enough crap already.

And then....AND THEEENNN...there's the New Year's Resolutions. They do that whole "New Year, New Me" bullshit. If you haven't done it by now, sweetie, you're not going to. It never lasts long. They fall back into their old habits pretty soon after. They crowd the gym and keep the serious people who actually want to be there waiting on their tard asses. Usually after February/March, they're gone, thankfully, but I'm not waiting until March to hit the gym! I call these people "Resolutionaries", because they like to storm places like the gym, the health club, or some college, and keep the people who've been there from doing anything! They rarely ever stay with it.

At the beginning of the year, there were so many Resolutionaries at my gym that I couldn't do any squats or lunges because someone was always there using them, and wouldn't re-rack the weights, so there was a magical treasure hunt for the fucking weights and kettlebells. I went this past Saturday and there were eight of us in the gym. Eight. During the week, there's maybe 25 or so- and they're regulars.

I fucking hate the holidays. 

Officially Mrs. Green!

On Friday, October 31st, on our 8th anniversary, I finally married the love of my life in a beautiful castle. We had a few setbacks, but we finally did it! 

They say when you get married, you find out who your true friends are. I didn't believe it, personally. It sounded so stupid. But holy hell, they were right! It seems wedding planning and weddings in general really bring out the worst in people. Go fucking figure. 

Yes, my previous maid of honor skipped out. Yep, a bridesmaid decided to drop out after being called out on her bullshit. Yep, another one dropped out last minute. A groomsman decided not to come before any planning had even occurred (which we expected- he didn't even order his kilt, so we knew right then he was out), and another groomsman, Jason's brother, was being selfish (as usual), but we persevered! We got replacements, and all was good. 

Our ceremony was about 10 minutes late because my maid of honor had the hairdresser/makeup artist with her, and we had to wait at the castle for her to get there. She made a pit stop for something before making it to the castle, and I guess she didn't realize that most of my wedding party was following her. We couldn't start the rehearsal until she got there, and I couldn't do my hair/makeup until they arrived. There was a lot of "hurry up and wait". 

I wasn't as nervous as I'd thought I'd be when it was my time to make my entrance. Daddy showed up to walk me down the steps, and everyone was smiling. He had to coach me on making it down the steps in heels, but we made it. When I got to the altar, I noticed that Jason's eyes were a little red. He was trying not to cry. I cry when I see someone else cry, so I was silently pleading with him, don't cry, don't cry, don't cry...

The ceremony flew by. We had a handfasting, so it wasn't like a normal type of ceremony by any means. I wrote the whole thing myself, and got my beloved friend, Ms. Wanda, to officiate. It was an absolute honor. I was surrounded by friends and people who truly loved us, and it was perfect. A lot of people raved about how we didn't have a "traditional white wedding", and I'm glad that everyone was so impressed that you can have an elegant wedding without all that light colored "white" and "off white" stuff.

We went back into the castle to take photos, and went to the reception. The thing everyone tells you when you get married is, "the hours will fly by at your reception". They were right. It was over before we knew it. Daddy made an embarrassing and very awkward speech after making us wait five minutes before showing up for the father/daughter dance, but other than that, everything went smoother than expected. Both sets of our parents put on their game faces and actually stomached their respected divorcee's- this is why the weather is so cold right now.

Since we were having the first part of our honeymoon at the castle, they shooed everyone out and told us to lock up in the morning when we left. The castle was so beautiful, and we had it all to ourselves for the night! The staff at the castle was kind enough to take all the food from our reception and put it in the fridge in our suite. They also did the same thing with the wedding and groom's cake. So, what is the first thing you do when you're given free reign of a castle? You hit the Jacuzzi! It was cold that night, but it was perfect for the hot tub.

The next morning, we got up and headed to New Orleans with Jason's mom, her brother, and his wife. It was pretty awesome meeting them, and Jason hadn't seen them in over a decade or so. It was really nice. We spent the majority of our honeymoon there. We got a free hotel room (thanks, you guys!) and the staff found out we were newlyweds, so we got bouquets of flowers in our room, and lots of "congratulations!" from everyone. We are taking a longer honeymoon during the summer, so we can travel somewhere for a longer amount of time. 

A very special thank you goes out to Rachel, because when shit hit the fan with the wedding party, she stepped in and took the reins, and with her expertise, everything stayed on track. She even made my bouquet, which is made from brooches. It's the most beautiful thing you'd ever see. 

To Jessica, my maid of honor, for introducing Jason and I. There wouldn't even be a wedding if it weren't for you guys. 

To Patrick, thanks for keeping Jason on track with the groomsmen stuff, and doing things when needed. You work offshore and still have time to do all of the wedding stuff, deal with the drama, and show up when you needed to. Thank you so much. 

Thank you to my wedding party for doing what was needed. Thank you to all my guests for showing up and celebrating this special day with us. Thank you to the castle staff and my staff for making everything perfect. 

October 18 was AWESOME!

We left Hattiesburg about 6 PM Friday night, and drove the long-ass drive to Atlanta, GA. Not even 15 minutes before we arrived at the hotel, Jason mistakenly takes the wrong exit, and hits a 6 inch long, 2 inch wide metal spike. We pull over into the projects, and notice that his tire was going flat. Jason pulls out his doughnut tire, and we discover that it, too, is out of air. I decide to call a tow truck, and they told us it would be an hour before they could come and get me. Jason was a little uncomfortable in the projects, but being from Canton, I was quite comfortable.


An hour later the tow truck comes, and he takes us to a 24-hour tire shop. Thank the gods for that. We chatted with the tow truck guy until the shop guys got us a tire and put it on the SPEC-V. We were only about 5 minutes from our hotel at that point, so we just hauled ass. We were supposed to be at the Ramada Capitol Park by 12. We got there at 4, but we had a new tire and not a doughnut, so yay!

We got up the next morning about 9, and we took the shuttle to the America's Mart. There was a very long line that stretched all the way around the building (a city block), but thankfully, we weren't waiting that long. We get in, and decide to look at the local vendors before I got in line to see the reason for coming so far. I eye the kilt vendors, and coaxed Jason into looking at them. The ladies were super nice, and they were so hilarious! They kept making pervy comments, and I kept laughing my ass off. Eventually, we spent a good $200+ and got Jason a very well made kilt, belt, sporran, and t-shirt.

Next, we got into the panel on "Bromance", starring none other than Andrew Lincoln and Norman Reedus. The Q&A was mostly "Can I have a hug? I love you guys." Afterwards, I got in line for what I came for: Norman Reedus' autograph/photo op. We were in line for about 3 hours and it had barely fucking moved. Norman kept being called back to the photo op sessions for the "original cast" and "group photos", as well as piss breaks and such, so he was constantly in and out of the autograph booth. But....when I got closer to him, I realized what he was doing when he was there. He was taking his time with each and every single fan, talking with them, getting to know them, and just being a friendly guy. Instead of rushing everyone through the line, he was getting to know them. That's fucking awesome.

There was a bit of confusion, because the Green Shirts (volunteer helpers) told us that the Norman Reedus photo ops was about to begin, and it ended at 6 PM. This confused the hell out of me, because my photo op was scheduled for 6 PM. I made Jason man the line, and then I went upstairs to see what was going on. Nobody knew what was going on, come to find out. There was a huge confusion on the third floor, and even the Green Shirts didn't know what I was talking about. Finally, the manager of the place came up and told everyone who was there for Norman Reedus to clear the area, and said that he was still in the autograph booth. I hurriedly ran back downstairs, just in time for Jason to send me a text that read, "I'm almost to Norman, better hurry up." I grab him a candy bar and some water (we hadn't eaten all day) and went to the autograph booth.

Finally, the moment had come. As soon as he saw me, he says, "Well, aren't you a cutie!" and hugs me. Made my fucking LIFE. Norman Reedus thinks I'm cute? Fucking right! I feel like I can do ANYTHING! As he signs my photo (that he provided), he says, "Your name is Pika? What an interesting name! I love it." We talk for a minute, and he and Jason starts talking. We then left, satisfied.

Next, we headed to the photo op. We wandered off and got pizza (ugh), and as a result, were the last motherfuckers in line. But that's ok, though. We waited for hours. It was supposed to be for 6 PM, but Norman was running behind schedule. The manager of the place told us we could get a refund if we wanted, but everyone was adamant and stayed put. Finally, after an eon (I took a nap on the floor) of waiting, the line started moving quickly. I got in, and got to Norman, hugged him, and took my picture. The cameraman was yelling at him, so I'm sure he felt rushed, the poor guy. His back was sweaty from all of the lights glaring on him for the photo session, and I realized that we wore the same deodorant. I enjoy man-sweat, so I wasn't disgusted by it at all. It was wonderful. My photo was printed almost immediately, and I was very pleased with it. It was actually on great quality paper, too!

The rest of the night....well, I'll keep that to myself. ^___^


Some advice: if you are going to a con to meet your favorite person, especially Norman Reedus, just know this:
Get VIP. That way you're always first before general admission.
Norman Reedus loves to talk to each and every single one of his fans, so it will take a very long time, and a hullva line as well.
Yes, Norman is as kind as you'd imagine him to be. Seriously. He has a heart of gold. 

Thanks.

September 28th marked the second anniversary of your passing. It still hurts the same as it did the first night you passed, but I think I'm coping a bit better. I can actually say your name without tears in my eyes. It's hard. You always knew exactly what to say to make me feel better.

That night, Jason had a dream. That in itself is very unusual- he doesn't sleep very well. He was in a sleep deep enough to have a dream- and the other odd thing is that he actually remembered it. I find it odd that one cannot remember a dream. I remember all of mine. In this dream, without going into too much detail, Jason had to make a decision to save my life, and took it, although this meant the end of his own. When he awoke, he wasn't afraid. It didn't even startle him to wakefulness like most nightmares do. In fact, he was very, very calm about it. He didn't tell me this until Wednesday or Thursday, and wrote it in an email and made a poem of it- a very well-written one at that.

He had pondered what it all meant, and decided that it wasn't just a run-of-the-mill dream- it was something much more than that. He stated that it was fate, and told me that I was the main purpose in his life. He lived to make sure I was healthy, happy, and alive.

Considering when he had the dream, I don't think it was a normal nightmare, either. I think it was you, looking out for me, as you always do. You were telling him, "Protect her with your life. Or else." I know it was you. Too many "coincidences" have occurred with you to think it was random chance. I know you've been looking out for me.

I came to see you the other day. It was the first time that I've ever visited you without crying. Instead, I was overcome with a kind of peace, a serenity that I had not experienced in quite some time. It was a beautiful day, and I cannot explain the calm I felt.

Thank you for looking out for me. I love you. I'll carry you with me.

Lists of things I don't buy cheap

Everyone wants to save money. I get it. Sometimes you even pick up pennies in the parking lot just to make sure you have at least a cent more than what you did have before. You go to the dollar store, you find the most practical, inexpensive item you can to save money. You use it. Sometimes you get what you pay for, sometimes you get more than a good deal on what you bought.

I'm all about saving some money. Ask anyone- I hate spending money. The more I spend, the less I have. However, that doesn't mean that I won't spend money, either. Over the years I've learned that sometimes, just sometimes....you get less than what you paid for, and end up spending money on the same item over and over again. You'll just break down and buy the name brand item and cry that  you'e wasted so much when you should've bought the real deal in the first place.

As my Daddy says, "I'm not rich enough to buy cheap things."

I started to think of all the things that I actually do buy name brand, just because they work better...or pay more for better quality. It's a tentative list, and by no means a complete one, but just off the top of my head, here's a list of things I'd rather spend good money on and keep around for a while than the cheap knockoff crap:


1. Premium Gas.
No, my car doesn't get better gas mileage when I use premium. However, my car seems to run better and smoother when I do use premium vs. the cheaper stuff. My car is 21 years old. I think it helps.

2. Bras
My tits will destroy a cheap bra. Also, considering the fact that my bra size is a helluva lot harder to find, they're usually more expensive when I do find them. I shop at Victoria's Secret for bras and underwear exclusively now. Not only do I find a comfortable, well-made, long-lasting bra in my size, but I also get deals and offers that I'd be stupid not to refuse. It actually saves me money in the long run.

3. Dish Detergent
I just found this out, actually. If you have a fancy dish detergent container like I do, don't use that Great Value bullshit. It will clog it up and make it look gross. Shell out the extra cash for something better.

4. Electronics
This should go without saying. Do you really want to call tech support for that off-brand tablet? Would they even speak your language? Do they have regular updates and patches? Stick with the name, baby.

5. Cheese
For me, the off-brand cheese taste like I'm licking cardboard or dried cat food. Ugh.

6. Pots and Pans
Years ago, I bought my very first pot and pan set. I destroyed it. I bought another one from Family Dollar. They don't hold up very well. I've replaced them so often now, I'd rather spend $300 for a good set...or if you're like me, spend $3k for the really awesome Bella Bridal stuff. I can stack the pots and pans on top of each other and cook everything at once without burning it.

7. Makeup
My face used to break out sometimes, and even when it didn't, it was either super greasy or dry as hell. I thought I had super sensitive skin....nope. It was my cheap makeup. I discovered Sephora and never looked back. My skin feels and looks a helluva lot better than what it used to. I just had to get the good stuff. This stuff goes on your face, so why wouldn't you want to take care of your money maker? You won't regret it. A few small palettes goes a very long way.

8. Running shoes
If you are a gym rat, don't buy cheap running shoes. They don't cushion very well, and they will mess your knees up and give you shin splints. I've had shin splints before....it was hell. Invest in some good running shoes that are only used for your running/gym routine. Buy two pairs if you are going to use them casually. And for fuck's sake, get the right size- that includes width and arch, too.

9. Batteries
They last longer. They also don't explode in your beloved, last of its kind cassette player, either.

10. Toilet paper
What would you rather use: cheap tissue that's super thin, and you have to buy a ton of it because it's cheap, and use a ton of it because you'll get poo hands if you don't? Or...a mega roll of Charmin and have a happy butt and clean hands?

11. Aluminum Foil
The cheaper stuff rips too easily. I have to have something that will hold up to my horrible cooking experiments

12. Mattresses
Better quality is better sleep. Sleep is important to you. So is your back and joints. Invest in a good mattress.

13. Paint
Generic paint could have lead in it. Get premium quality paint, get premium quality results. Lasts longer, too. This also goes for art paint as well.

14. Garbage Bags
The good stuff holds more and won't break. I've found I have to use a lot more of the cheap stuff...and the garbage seems to smell worse, too.

"Ain't Shit People"

When I was a teenager, my mom and stepdad would always warn me to stay away from "ain't shit people". The people in question were some of my friends. "But...but they're my friends! They may make bad decisions, but they're good people." They would always get mad when I hung out with some of them, saying that they were horrible people because of their decisions and that they were going to influence me and drag me down with them. I refused to believe them.

Now that I'm older, I finally understand what "ain't shit people" are, and what my parents were trying so hard to tell me. It just took so-called "friends", an ex, and a few acquaintances to open my eyes. "Ain't shit people" are people who ride along the coattails of other people's successes, and don't do anything themselves. Those people who sat around and did nothing in high school who are now in their 30's and doing the same old shit, and still in the same situation they were in back then...those are "aint shit people". The people who have no aspirations to do anything with their lives...much like moochers. They are small-minded, and talk about people instead of furthering themselves. You strive to succeed, and they are yapping at your heels, putting doubt into your mind and talking bad about you because you got out of your rut. They try to drag you down with them- and that's the dangerous part. They become very annoying because you are trying to better yourself, and you can't do it when someone else is in your way....my ex is a prime example of that. Every time I tried to climb the ladder, he pulled me back down into the hole with him. That's why I left him. Now I'm no longer homeless, actually have a car, a career, and even money!

I remember in my younger years, hanging out with people, not really caring about their situations and how it could affect me. Now that I'm older and more educated, I look at these same people doing the same thing, and think: "You are complaining about not having any money, but you refuse to get a job,"...or "If you are so upset about your situation, do something about it." They love to talk about other people...but refused to point the finger in the other direction.

One scenario in particular stands out in my mind when I think about "ain't shit people". I used to hang out with someone whom we shall call "R". R was friendly enough, and a generally good person. R barely worked, and when she did find a job, she didn't try to do anything to climb up the ladder or get a better one. She sat around all night getting high as a kite, and spent her money on a lot of crap. She always asked for favors or for money. As the years got on, I matured and she didn't. I saw her in a store one day, high as a kite, smelling like she hadn't washed her clothes or bathed in a while. She and I talked for a while, and I just remember how awkward it was to talk to her because I'd grown out of hanging out with people like her. She invited me over to her place, and I decided that I would.

Nothing had changed. Dirty dishes piled up everywhere, trash all over the place, the house smelled like weed, and there was a random dude in the corner..and I realized, I don't like this type of thing anymore. Now, granted, I'd never done drugs, but I hung out with people who did, and that in itself could drag me down with them. She then asked me if I could buy her some food, because she didn't have any money for food....she admitted that she bought a new pair of shoes, a tattoo, and weed with her paycheck. I didn't feel remorse for her, so I told her no. Apparently that wasn't the right thing to say to someone who makes bad decisions, and she god mad. I left. I haven't seen her since.

So yes, stay away from "ain't shit people". When you are older and they're still in the same old rut, refusing to get out unless someone does it for them, you will understand what I mean....especially if they want you to take them with you...and won't do anything for themselves. When you're 40 with a house, they'll still be in the same old place, acting like a 16 year old and really doing nothing with their lives. They will drag you down with them- guilty by association, I suppose.