A Life Less Ordinary: The Dashing of the Warriors

I finally did it.

I RAN WARRIOR DASH!!!!!

And I LOVED IT.

If you would've asked me a year ago, I would've told you, "HELL NO!", but since I've been working up some endurance at the gym and actually began to like running just a little bit, I figured, "Why the hell not?" It looked like fun, and it would be something eventful for me to do. So, I went for it. I just didn't think I'd love it so much.

I went to Canton, MS, my hometown, Friday night so that I could get up the next morning and head out to Jackson to do the dash. I decided to do the earliest dash so that the course wouldn't be destroyed by the time I got to it. I woke up at 6 and did a small jog. This is me at my mom's at the asscrack of morning:

We headed out from my mom's and drove to Jackson- surprisingly, there wasn't much traffic to the dash yet. Since we were actually parking at the Memorial Stadium across from UMC and getting a bus to the actual site, we got there as early as we could--I got there about 7:30 or so. There were plenty of parking spaces so we got a good one. Then we loaded a school bus (free ride) that would take us to the site where the dash was taking place. We were on the first bus.

After a ride down the interstate and a backwoods dirt road, we safely arrived at our destination. From there, we walked into the dash grounds and I headed over to get my race packet. It was a little hectic because I had a huge bag with a towel and other assorted crap in it, but thankfully my Jason was there to help me get ready! He helped me put the chip in my shoelaces and duct taped my shoes! After all was said and done, I was ready and a bit anxious about what awaited me.

I got in line and waited for the time to tick down- I had 20 minutes, but I wanted to be closer to the front, because I'm a slow runner, and I didn't want to look like a jackass in front of the spectators (most of the dash was away from the crowd). After the huge fireball explosion, we were off!

I hauled ass around the corner, and was happy that there was marker tape and signs that told us where to go. We were greeted with mud puddles. "Oh," I thought, "Just a mud puddle. Ha!" Rule one: NEVER think that at Warrior Dash. What I thought was just a wee mud puddle actually came up to my thighs. Others just walked by the red marker tape and dodged the puddle, but I thought, "What the hell, the motto is Mud, Sweat, and Beer, so here we go!" My feet were instantly frozen. I thought I was going to get frostbite! The first part of the course seemed to be nothing but these freezing mud puddles. I dashed through every single one, sometimes tripping over crap in the water and falling deeper into the mud. Usually, the weather in MS this time of year is nice and hot, but today was COLD! Two days before the race, it was hot as balls. Welcome to MS!

Finally, after running up a small hill and through some more mud puddles, I came to my first obstacle course- a net with barbed wire at the end. Everyone was just chilling underneath and not really going anywhere, so I just jumped under the net and Solid Snaked my way through. Some of the girls acted like they were too cute to get muddy, but I didn't care- I moved past everyone and slid under the barbed wire and started running again.

I came across MORE mud puddles- there were a LOT of mud puddles in this dash. My shoes were really heavy by the time I got to the next obstacle- a wall. Or at least, I thought it was just a wall. There were, in fact, a series of them, with barbed wire between them, so as you climbed over the wall, you jumped off it, ducked under barbed wire, and climbed another freaking wall. I think there were four total. I was too short to jump up to grab the wall, and my feet couldn't get a good grip because my shoes were caked with mud. A girl and her friend helped me get over the wall. We decided to team up and tackle the obstacle course together. We ran until we got to the next big obstacle: tunnels.

The tunnels weren't that bad- they were just deep trenches with boards over them so that they were very, very dark. Everyone was trying to pick this one or that one without water in it, so I just picked the one that was flooded with water, because nobody else would and I knew it would be the quickest. I had no problem crawling through there. I waited on my newfound buddies, and we headed to the next course.

This one was a biggie: mud mountains with deep water at the bottoms of them. Yes, mountains. Plural. We had to get into this deep water with sticky mud at the bottom, and climb up the mud mountain, slide down the other side, and repeat. We were having a hell of a time because the mud was so slick and nobody could get a foothold. People were starting to lose their shoes. I was glad mine were duct taped to my feet- they weren't going anywhere. I saw some branches and roots at one end of the hole and with my friend's help, was able to get out. I turned around and then helped pull her out. Onward!

We came to a wall of rope netting- all we had to do was pick one, and just shimmy across the nets. Easily done.

The next one was one that I'd remember in infamy. It was a wall of netting that you climbed up- no big deal there. That was the easy part. However, when you got to the top, you had to climb down- and the only way to do it was to put your foot on these little boards nailed into the wall. I was too short to reach the next board, and I slipped and my vagina caught the next board. It hurt. The chick climbing next to me cringed, I heard some guys say, "Oooo!" and another say, "God save the queen!" They were helpful enough to peel me off the wall though. In fact, those same guys stayed there just to help others off the wall because it was so hard. Then I realized that there were quite a few of these walls in succession. My friends and I were like, "LOL, NOPE!" and moved on.

I really liked the next obstacle- you had climb up onto a plank and walk it while water was cascading down on you. I got past it no problem. So did my friends.

Right next to that obstacle was another one- swim across a lake/pond, with a little barge in the middle. It was kinda deep to me, but I made it to the barge- and there was also netting underwater, so you really had to watch what you were doing. Then, back into the water, and climb out on the bank. I ran up the hill, and we could hear music by then- we were close to the end!

The biggest obstacle is one I ended up not doing. It was a wall, with knotted rope on it. I was too short to grab the rope, and the one that was long enough had the knots spaced too far apart- my hands kept slipping, and my feet slipped at every turn- the board was too muddy for me to put my feet on. My friends and I passed it altogether.

Here's me saying, "LOL, NOPE!" to the wall. We ran past it.

We then jumped over a few lines of fire- it felt good on my feet since they were still freezing from the beginning of the race.

Then, the last obstacle!!! THE MUD PIT! The mud pit had barbed wire over it, so you couldn't just run past it- they made you crawl. I shimmied past this with no real problem- I'm very good at crawling. It was also very fun!

The mud smelled something fierce. I thought I would have to dip my face into the mud to get past the barbed wire, but I really didn't have to. I got up out of the mud, waited on my friends, helped them out......

And the three of us crossed the finish line together!!!

I was muddy from head to toe, but I was very proud of myself. Here I was, a lazy ass, and I had ran the Warrior Dash and survived it! I had a lot of fun, and I'd love to do it again!!!